Writing Thank You Notes

Writing a thank-you note may seem intimidating at first, but there’s a kind of “formula” to writing them. A gracious thank-you note has characteristic traits; keeping them in mind will make the note much easier to write. Thank-you notes are:

1. Prompt. A note of thanks for an overnight stay should be written within a few days of your return home. Thanks for a wedding gift are within the bounds of courtesy if they arrive within three months of the wedding or of receipt of the gift, whichever is latest. (But if you want to keep from drowning in the task and be ultragracious, write each note shortly after the gift arrives.) Thanks for other gifts, such as birthday or holiday presents, should be sent within a week or two at the most. A note following a dinner party is optional, but if you do send one, write it within a week of the occasion.

2. Sincere. Focusing on sincerity will actually help you begin to write. Think about how you felt when you opened the gift and put that sentiment into simple words. Just a few sentences expressing these thoughts can constitute the entire note.

3. Specific. A note of thanks for “the lovely gift” sounds as if you’ve either forgotten what the gift was, or are writing the same generic note to everyone. Name the gift and say one thing about it—how you intend to use it, how beautiful it is, how nice of the giver to remember what you like, and so forth.

4. Diplomatic. Okay, so sometimes you receive a present that dismays you. Perhaps it is astonishingly ugly, or bizarrely inappropriate; these things do happen. It is, however, possible to write a sincere and gracious note if you choose your words carefully and remember the old saying that it’s the thought that counts. Here’s an example. “Imagine my surprise when the carton of fresh bait arrived by express mail. It is certainly the most original gift I’ve ever received—and one I’ll never forget. Thanks for making my birthday so memorable!” There, you’ve just thanked someone for sending you a box of worms—and there’s not a sentence in the note that isn’t true. Words and phrases like “interesting,” “unique,” or “never imagined I’d receive such an unusual gift” will be useful in diplomatic thank-you notes.

5. Handwritten. The essentially personal nature of a thank-you note requires that you write it with your own hand—not on a typewriter or computer. A handwritten note lets the recipient know that you care enough to put your personal touch into the effort.